Spiritual Healing is not for everyone.
For those who think it’s not possible, that it is science imbedded in a misplaced faith system, I have one thing to say: Who cares?
If it works for someone, then everyone is better off, science based or not. The ripple effect of mental health carries forth much farther than our own lives.
I myself wrestle with a skeptical ego; a University graduate who is trained to seek explanation for everything.
This particular experience, I seek no answers for. I prefer to live in a world where magic is possible, and my results are not a lie.
This journey started with panic; delusions embedded in the folds of my conscious mind. I knew that my thoughts were not real, but they scared me enough to share them with my partner. I had a fear of the end of the world and wanted to maintain control of my own experiences of this through suicide. I thought that I could experience a more peaceful death through my own hands, than the scenario that my brain was throwing forth in this living nightmare.
This fear became so intense that at one point I was curled into the fetal position on the couch and had my partner look outside to the sky. I was positive that there would be hellfire and that he would run back inside and hold me close, stroking my hair as the sky came falling down upon us, propelling us into a painful and fiery death.
I have never had a full panic attack, but I can tell you in that moment I was so sure of death, that my life was flashing before my eyes. I feared for my children and wanted to scream out in agony.
If I could have left my body willingly in that moment, I would have.
The days that followed were easier in comparison, but no brighter. I was a prisoner in my own mind, the feeling of being entrapped in my own skin almost too much to bear. I reached out for help and started taking L-Theanine for stress, and pleading for more patience from my family while I grasped onto the brittle straws of my former reality, and peace.
Every self help technique I incorporated brought a little glimmer of hope…for mere seconds it seemed, before I stumbled and fell back into my own pit of despair. Each breathe a psychological labour as I questioned my own existence.
As I struggled to maintain some level of control, I agreed to a meeting from one of the therapists in my network, Chantal Michele, who also offers Bodycode/Spiritual healing. After our business meeting, she checked in with me and asked how I was. I admitted I was okay but barely hanging on. She offered to do a quick reading on me. I agreed.
She uses a pendulum to offer “dousing” which is a technique where she has a paper with pre-determined responses on it, and she asks for the most relevant response for my situation. One of the biggest things that came from her reading is that there was an entity that was attached to my energy.
Now this is not to be read as a demon was sucking my soul. This is far too dramatic and fearful for my own interpretation. I feel, as an energy worker, I was being asked to help this “stuck” entity to move past this physical realm, and into one of light and love. As a healer I have agreed to this contract and work with energy on a regular basis, so I am not unfamiliar with the process.
My issue was that I was unaware that it was present, and my own self care practices were lacking in light of the changes associated with kids home full time, as a result of the pandemic.
So, we were both stuck.
Chantal’s process is very simple and efficient. It almost seems too easy. She asked for help. She asked for help from the angels, and confirmed that they heard through some simple body movements and responses that I verbally offered as feedback. We did this all online in under 30 mins. I felt some relief, and some doubt that this healing could be as simple as identifying the underlying issue, then asking an angel to help relieve me of my discomfort.
I thanked her and we said our good-bye’s.
It was the hours that followed that really made a difference. I felt lighter, and more at peace.
Maybe it was just the asking for help that did this? I justified in my head.
Then my partner looked at me quizzically and asked how I was feeling.
“Better” I replied
“You look better!” He confirmed.
Still I was not totally convinced.
The thing that really opened my eyes to the power of this healing session was that suddenly both my cats returned to my room and were laying on my bed for the first time in weeks, together. (They hate each other normally)
I had noticed that they were avoiding me, confirming in my despair that I was not fit for even animal company these days. The suddenness of their return has no other explanation. Something shifted, and it was in that session. Nothing else in my physical world had changed.
In the days that followed I can only explain the feeling as: it was as if a shadow had lifted. I could now see more clearly outside of the cage of my own mind.
I am not religious, and I will continue to not partake in any organized religion. I am not opposed to it, but its not for me. I believe that Spirit, the Universe, Gaia or God, or whatever word you use to describe it, is all the same source: it is simply something greater than ourselves.
A power exists that we can rely on for help. Maybe it doesn’t happen in the way that we expect, but I do believe if we have faith, we can live an easier life than our brain constructs on its own.
I can tell you confidently that moving forward, I have started to pray. Even if I take nothing else from this, I know now that when I put the things that are out of control, into hands that are not my own, I am a happier person.
Maybe this IS the foundation of faith; the process of letting go of that which we cannot control.
A trust fall.
I now willingly give up that which I cannot control: and I will pray with gratitude for being able to do so.
Chantal Michelle is a practitioner with the Twisted Oak Holistic Collective and free consultations can be booked via the Virtual Health Centre.
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