The sound of her laughter pierced my attention and as I turned my gaze, the glacial cool blue of her eyes captivated me and I found my attention lingering.
Her cherub cheeks were rosy with pleasure as she ran towards the garden bed, the rainbow of colours drawing her hands out in front of her, ready to grasp the velvety petals to bring them closer.
I watched in awe as her body reluctantly slowed down as she took in the colours, the scents and the over all magic of these flowers. I could see the wheels turning as she turned back to look at her mother, standing a few steps away talking to a neighbour. The little girl looked back at the flowers and ever so carefully chose the one that was her favourite.
She picked the brightest red rose that was among a sea of white daisy’s. She left the stem too short, her focus being only on the flower itself. She ran back to her mother and tugged gently on her shirt waiting for her mother to reach down to receive her attention. Waiting for her to spot the beautiful flower clenched in her tiny fist.
Two things can happen from this point. The mother can lovingly accept the flower, her smile confirmation to the girl that her mother really "sees" her, and can feel the love she emanates for this woman who is her whole world.
The second reaction would be that the mother continues her conversation, quietly brushing the child's attention to the side, forcing her to wait...or worse, failing to acknowledge the offer of a gift at all.
We all empathize with this young soul. As we sit here reading, with a lack of distractions in front of us, we are hoping for the best possible result; that the girl is recognized for her efforts and can see the light in her mother's eyes light up for a second as she receives this offer of love.
As adults, some of us struggle with receiving gifts, and similarly, the offer of help. The uncomfortable feeling that comes from accepting both of these, comes from the core belief that we do not deserve it. We do not want others to sacrifice themselves for us.
We need to shift our viewpoint on this.
If we remember the little girl in the story above, we realize that those who are offering us a gift, their time, money or anything else that helps to support us, are doing so because they are offering us a form of "love". When we reject this offering, we are acting as the mother in the second scenario, where we are brushing them off (with good intentions) but to them, the 'love energy' is coming back, unaccepted.
We tend to forget that we are programmed to want to be a part of a community. This means that there is a give and take that is natural in any tribe, and when we are able to feel valuable to our communities, it offers us reciprocation in the form of pride. Happiness comes from a place of belonging, and helping.
As an energy healer, we can imagine what this looks like in energetic terms: In your minds eye, place a large boulder onto the path of a flowing river. The boulder blocks the healthy flow of the river, and can be seen as an obstruction.
For those who reject the offering of love, even though the intention is to make sure the "other" is not sacrificing themselves, it leaves the potential receiver AND the giver feeling more alone.
For those labelled as chronic givers, always offering energy while simultaneously refusing to accept it, can leave you with health ailments that include shortness of breathe, fatigue, and depression. As energetic creatures, we need to receive energy to balance our own systems too.
If we can internalize our inner child, and remember the innocence of offering a flower with no expectation other than watching the love spark in our mother's eyes, hopefully we can all learn to receive love as effectively as we offer it out.
Tina Simpson is the owner of Twisted Oak Holistic Health, a website that features FREE 15 minute consultations with a variety of holistic professionals.