The Art of Receiving Love

Image by kalhh from Pixabay

The sound of her laughter pierced my attention and as I turned my gaze, the glacial cool blue of her eyes captivated me and I found my attention lingering. 

Her cherub cheeks were rosy with pleasure as she ran towards the garden bed, the rainbow of colours drawing her hands out in front of her, ready to grasp the velvety petals to bring them closer. 

I watched in awe as her body reluctantly slowed down as she took in the colours, the scents and the over all magic of these flowers. I could see the wheels turning as she turned back to look at her mother, standing a few steps away talking to a neighbour. The little girl looked back at the flowers and ever so carefully chose the one that was her favourite. 

She picked the brightest red rose that was among a sea of white daisy’s. She left the stem too short, her focus being only on the flower itself. She ran back to her mother and tugged gently on her shirt waiting for her mother to reach down to receive her attention. Waiting for her to spot the beautiful flower clenched in her tiny fist.

Two things can happen from this point. The mother can lovingly accept the flower, her smile confirmation to the girl that her mother really "sees" her, and can feel the love she emanates for this woman who is her whole world.

The second reaction would be that the mother continues her conversation, quietly brushing the child's attention to the side, forcing her to wait...or worse, failing to acknowledge the offer of a gift at all. 

We all empathize with this young soul. As we sit here reading, with a lack of distractions in front of us, we are hoping for the best possible result; that the girl is recognized for her efforts and can see the light in her mother's eyes light up for a second as she receives this offer of love. 

As adults, some of us struggle with receiving gifts, and similarly, the offer of help. The uncomfortable feeling that comes from accepting both of these, comes from the core belief that we do not deserve it. We do not want others to sacrifice themselves for us. 

We need to shift our viewpoint on this. 

If we remember the little girl in the story above, we realize that those who are offering us a gift, their time, money or anything else that helps to support us, are doing so because they are offering us a form of "love". When we reject this offering, we are acting as the mother in the second scenario, where we are brushing them off (with good intentions) but to them, the 'love energy' is coming back, unaccepted. 

We tend to forget that we are programmed to want to be a part of a community. This means that there is a give and take that is natural in any tribe, and when we are able to feel valuable to our communities, it offers us reciprocation in the form of pride. Happiness comes from a place of belonging, and helping. 

As an energy healer, we can imagine what this looks like in energetic terms: In your minds eye, place a large boulder onto the path of a flowing river. The boulder blocks the healthy flow of the river, and can be seen as an obstruction. 

For those who reject the offering of love, even though the intention is to make sure the "other" is not sacrificing themselves, it leaves the potential receiver AND the giver feeling more alone. 

For those labelled as chronic givers, always offering energy while simultaneously refusing to accept it, can leave you with health ailments that include shortness of breathe, fatigue, and depression. As energetic creatures, we need to receive energy to balance our own systems too. 

If we can internalize our inner child, and remember the innocence of offering a flower with no expectation other than watching the love spark in our mother's eyes, hopefully we can all learn to receive love as effectively as we offer it out. 

Tina Simpson is the owner of Twisted Oak Holistic Health, a website that features FREE 15 minute consultations with a variety of holistic professionals. 

https://twisted-oak.ca/book-your-free-consultation

I Went To a Psychic, And Found the Real Deal

Image by Esi Grünhagen from Pixabay

When I was younger, I always wanted to try going to a psychic. It seemed impossible but intriguing enough to explore. Interestingly, the few times that I ended up at the door of a professional see-er, they were out of the office. This happened so many times, that I internalized that I was not supposed to see one for some karmic reason.

So the year that I had three different psychics approach me, I listened.

I was curious, but not curious enough to pay…yet. I interviewed a couple of them and this is what happened:

The first psychic that I came across was very powerful and intuitive indeed, but seemed to be running through a filter of some slight mental health issues. Her first few words to me struck a chord so deep, that I gained trust instantly, but over time my trust in her waned. I was witness to some…interesting… interaction with people, coupled with some choices I was not aligned with. This lead to my decision to move on.

We often forget that the human connection is the MOST important part of a therapeutic relationship, and it just wasn’t there to be found.

The funny thing about my first experience is that looking back, she knew right away that something would happen that would turn me off. She started our relationship with the disclaimer “Never talk about a psychic behind her back, I know EXACTLY who is speaking poorly about me”.

Well I can say that she may be for a lot of other people, as her skill was undeniable, but she just wasn’t for me.

The second psychic was a quick interview and wow, she was a very interesting energy to behold. I am an energy worker and she was ALL over the place. She had a ton of very powerful energy, and she was very friendly and confident, and it was interesting to be in her presence. Again, despite her reputation of a renowned psychic, we did not connect. I will never forget her, but the trust just wasn’t there in the short meeting we had.

The third psychic was my last, and will forever be on my self care team. This is our story:

I think that when most people envision a psychic, the image that is conjured up is of a poorly lit room, a crystal ball with tarot cards, and an erratic person sitting across a table with long fingernails and an accent.

Well, that was my vision anyway.

When I entered her space, I was almost surprised to enter a normal house. She was a normal woman who was soft spoken and pleasant, and she welcomed me into her living room. There were kids toys and a computer, couches and lots of natural sunlight. She got me settled onto her couch and we began immediately.

The first order of business is that she had me lay down, so that I could fully relax. She was extremely comforting, and I already felt at ease more than I ever had with the other two. She offered me blankets and told me that there would be time for talking after the session. She actually told me she did NOT want me to talk prior to the session, so that she could establish a strong connection to me and that I would know it was coming directly from her.

At this point, she had me in the palm of her hands. How do you NOT trust a psychic who insists on a blank slate, with absolutely no preliminary information?

She then took the next TWO hours to tell me my own life story, with the insight of 3 different perspectives; the physical, the energetic, and the spiritual. Not only did she take this time for me, she did this for free, an introduction turned full healing at no charge.

She has since been told by her clients that she deserves every penny she charges and I agree.

If we can back up for a second…I had been suffering from tremors as a result of a hormonal IUD gone terribly wrong (whoops they forget to tell you about the possible neurological side effects) and although it was removed, the tremors would come back in times of stress. She told me this without knowing anything about my disorder!

I was shocked. Not only did she identity the issue, she ALSO asked for spiritual help for this reaction to be removed from my body and the tremors DISAPPEARED over the next TWO MINUTES.

I am to this day, tremor free.

She then told me of my history with my biological mother who had passed away. She identified that my deceased mother was still struggling with guilt, as she was in her physical life. She turned this image around through her spiritual work (which I again, now fully trust) and left my relationship with my dead mother a positive and supportive one.

My mother was never in my life due to alcohol and drug addiction, and turning this around for me, seeing her now as a guide who walks beside me, was very healing.

Now I know past life stuff is not for everyone, but when you find healers you trust and it all leads to here, you start to believe. I have run into two spiritual healers now who have made a profound difference in my own reality, and both have linked to past lives, so I choose to believe.

My psychic went into my past lives for me and I remember resonating with it fully, but it was my FUTURE reading that was profound.

Obviously this is different for everyone, but for me she honed in on my passion of building a holistic network that reaches out to the general population: To teach people that the key to health is to take back control of our bodies through holistic living.

I think everyone can agree that our current paradigm of simply reacting to illness is failing us.

With my trust fall already complete many times over, she honed in on my passion and gave me a vision of my own future that was better than I ever could have imagined. She told me that I would have an amazing GLOBAL network one day. I swooned. It was going to happen for me if I just hung in there.

Then, to top it all off (remember at this point I had not opened my mouth to speak at all!) she told me I was bi-sexual.

I was floored. This is a trait of mine that is very deeply hidden because I am in a heterosexual relationship with children. She could NOT have picked this up from anywhere in my current life.

I stumbled out of there, with my money still in my hand, a whole new perspective on spirit, and a better understanding of the depth of true healing

In closing, there ARE real psychics out there, and they are extremely healing entities. They have a gift, and when you find someone you resonate with, the insight into your own life, can be profound.

She did all of this for me without lifting a finger, and best of all, she can do it online too (Although I much prefer in person I am happy to be able to reach her through the pandemic).

From her session I emerged with hope, and a healthier physical body.

I can honestly say that even my strong skeptic brain cannot deny the power of my session that day.

Susan Mikanikian is the psychic/spiritual healer that is the therapist in this story, and she is with the Twisted Oak Holistic Collective. Free consultation can be booked via the Virtual Health Centre.

The Spiritual Grind of Parenthood

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Enlightenment at its finest...

You know how the Universe started with a Big Bang?

This “Big Bang” brings forth the vision of condensed elements and massive meteors hurtling through space at such a speed that it destroys everything in its path. After about 1 billion years the development of the universe creates the perfect balance of stars and planets, and finally settles into the rhythm of our solar system.

This feeling of utter chaos and the breakdown of everything as you know it, followed by the creation of something beautiful and irreplaceable; this is parenting in a nutshell.

Once upon a time, there was a genius meme on a social media platform. The image of a buddhist monk holding up a sign. The caption on the top read:

“Monk, how do I learn to be more enlightened in this lifetime?”

The sign in the monks hand read “Have children”

Just in case you were wondering WHY having children would bring you closer to enlightenment:

It begins with Pregnancy

The image of a couple holding each other, tears in their eyes, looking at a positive pregnancy test together, is one that the media loves to embrace. This gets you all warm and fuzzy inside, as you watch on the sidelines, silently witnessing all their dreams come true.

REALITY: That positive pregnancy test rarely comes at the right time.

Those couples that sit down to make a plan and time a baby perfectly into their lives in between career shifts, struggle to get pregnant. They offer themselves a window of opportunity, check temperatures and ovulation times, plan sex according to this window and it should all work out perfectly according to science, right? Wrong.

Alternatively there are those parents-to-be who decide that yes, one day they want children but have no immediate plan because the time is just not right. Suddenly, as they treat themselves to a fancy date night dinner - she vomits on the floor.

When that double line shows up on the stick, its met with fear, excitement, and the stark reality that its NOT the perfect time. Parents commit to making it work…somehow.

This is the first stage of parenting and the realization that spiritual growth begins with stripping away ALL of your expectations.

Then comes Labour

The black and white image is majestic: The mother-to-be is doing great, controlling her breathe with each contraction, the look of concentration evident as she works through her pain. There is barely a ripple in the birthing tub that is placed in the middle of her loving home, as she embraces her newborn for the first time.

REALITY: There are no words to describe this accurately.

For those expecting pain, they deliver effortlessly on the way to the hospital, baby slipping out all too soon while everyone is screaming NOT to push.

For those with a detailed labour plan — you can cross everything off that list one item at a time. May as well do it now, while you can still process this.

I personally wanted a water birth. Warm water seemed the most natural transition from the comforts of the womb to that first intake of air, and all of the complications that life brings with it.

My vision of being lovingly guided by a midwife who brings my newborn to my breast, was a harsh contrast to what actually happened. I ended up with an old and tired substitute for my midwife, who thought I was being a great big suck through my natural labour - until my 11 pound baby’s head crowned sideways, after 27 hours of labour.

I was 5'2" and 120 pounds so I will just leave that image there…

Introduce Toddler

“My kid will never do that”

REALITY: Yes. They. Will.

This is one of parent’s favourite phrases to hear from non-parents. The silent laughter combined with the respect and love for your innocence, we hide in the little smirk that slightly curls our lip upward.

That kid in the grocery store who is screaming bloody murder because his mother ripped the $5 trinket out of his hand and put it back on the shelf, is NOT spoiled. The fact that he is crying actually is EVIDENCE of this.

Yes, your kid is going to do this.

Actually, they are going to do this so much that you stop going out as much. Restaurants are just not worth it anymore once you pick your fork up off the floor for the 100th time (and use it anyway) and apologize to the neighbouring table for the rice flung at their heads.

Just when you give it all up and decide you will never go out in public again, they grow up a little and learn to keep their spaghetti in at least a 10 foot radius.

Now, your little person has an opinion? WHAT?

Ahhhh, the development of the ego. Around 4 years old they are less toddler, and more a little human being.

You know those people you see on the internet who are EXTREMELY opinionated and illicit arguments on every little topic? They drown the argument into so many facets of tiny little details that you end up just giving up and agreeing anyway, so that you no longer have to engage in the argument at hand?

Now take THAT person, erase ALL logic and foundational knowledge, and you have a glimpse into raising a brand new ego.

Now take everything you are attached to in the physical world…and destroy it

For me, it was my faery collection. Looking back, I felt that these perfect little porcelain figurines were the physical representation of my persona. The higher they went up on my shelves, the more revered they were by little hands wanting to tear them apart, so they could find out why mommy’s attention goes here.

Eventually I handed mine over with a sigh and watched as the wings got ripped off, arms went missing, and eventually the millions of little pieces on the floor representing my relief of not having to say “no” anymore.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

For those thinking of venturing into parenting: I recommend starting by practicing meditation in a bull ring…and not with just one bull either

In the book “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, there is an excerpt where she is attempting to meditate in the gardens and is struggling to still her mind from the distraction of everything around her, such as the breathing of her neighbours, and the mosquitos. She overcomes this, and finds herself experiencing a sensation described as the much sought after ‘Nirvana’.

Amazing.

She finds herself so entranced that she is completely unaware of being eaten alive by a swarm of bugs. Now THAT is letting go.

Despite her self proclaimed practise into this enlightened state of being, I would bet a million dollars that she couldn’t replicate this until about the 8th year of life of her own child if she was a parent.

Even with a child at 8 years old, I would be surprised if she was able to reach Nirvana…unless she taught her mind to go elsewhere while her body screamed “GET YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR BROTHERS NECK RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD YOU WILL NEVER SEE ANOTHER VIDEO GAME EVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!”

Through this marathon of no sleep, endless aggravations, and the destruction of all we once were, we find a love and peace that our former lives couldn’t even dream of

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING in the entire universe better than cuddling up to your sleeping little angel (Yes these feelings of love and peace happen way more often when they are unconscious).

Actually I lie: the one thing better than this feeling of peace, is the joy that emanates from your heart when you hear your children’s laughter ring through the house.

The feelings of love and protection that these little beings create in your new life, can make time stand still AND go too fast in the same moment.

We are destroyed and reborn as stronger and more compassionate human beings, almost daily.

As it turns out, through birth it is US who are reborn.

Tina Simpson is the owner of Twisted Oak Holistic Health and is a Deep Tissue Massage and Reiki practitioner on Salt Spring Island, BC.

What a Spiritual Healing Feels Like

Photo by 小胖 车 on Unsplash

**Warning: some triggering content related to suicide and religion**

Spiritual Healing is not for everyone.

For those who think it’s not possible, that it is science imbedded in a misplaced faith system, I have one thing to say: Who cares?

If it works for someone, then everyone is better off, science based or not. The ripple effect of mental health carries forth much farther than our own lives.

I myself wrestle with a skeptical ego; a University graduate who is trained to seek explanation for everything.

This particular experience, I seek no answers for. I prefer to live in a world where magic is possible, and my results are not a lie.

This journey started with panic; delusions embedded in the folds of my conscious mind. I knew that my thoughts were not real, but they scared me enough to share them with my partner. I had a fear of the end of the world and wanted to maintain control of my own experiences of this through suicide. I thought that I could experience a more peaceful death through my own hands, than the scenario that my brain was throwing forth in this living nightmare.

This fear became so intense that at one point I was curled into the fetal position on the couch and had my partner look outside to the sky. I was positive that there would be hellfire and that he would run back inside and hold me close, stroking my hair as the sky came falling down upon us, propelling us into a painful and fiery death.

I have never had a full panic attack, but I can tell you in that moment I was so sure of death, that my life was flashing before my eyes. I feared for my children and wanted to scream out in agony.

If I could have left my body willingly in that moment, I would have.

The days that followed were easier in comparison, but no brighter. I was a prisoner in my own mind, the feeling of being entrapped in my own skin almost too much to bear. I reached out for help and started taking L-Theanine for stress, and pleading for more patience from my family while I grasped onto the brittle straws of my former reality, and peace.

Every self help technique I incorporated brought a little glimmer of hope…for mere seconds it seemed, before I stumbled and fell back into my own pit of despair. Each breathe a psychological labour as I questioned my own existence.

As I struggled to maintain some level of control, I agreed to a meeting from one of the therapists in my network, Chantal Michele, who also offers Bodycode/Spiritual healing. After our business meeting, she checked in with me and asked how I was. I admitted I was okay but barely hanging on. She offered to do a quick reading on me. I agreed.

She uses a pendulum to offer “dousing” which is a technique where she has a paper with pre-determined responses on it, and she asks for the most relevant response for my situation. One of the biggest things that came from her reading is that there was an entity that was attached to my energy.

Now this is not to be read as a demon was sucking my soul. This is far too dramatic and fearful for my own interpretation. I feel, as an energy worker, I was being asked to help this “stuck” entity to move past this physical realm, and into one of light and love. As a healer I have agreed to this contract and work with energy on a regular basis, so I am not unfamiliar with the process.

My issue was that I was unaware that it was present, and my own self care practices were lacking in light of the changes associated with kids home full time, as a result of the pandemic.

So, we were both stuck.

Chantal’s process is very simple and efficient. It almost seems too easy. She asked for help. She asked for help from the angels, and confirmed that they heard through some simple body movements and responses that I verbally offered as feedback. We did this all online in under 30 mins. I felt some relief, and some doubt that this healing could be as simple as identifying the underlying issue, then asking an angel to help relieve me of my discomfort.

I thanked her and we said our good-bye’s.

It was the hours that followed that really made a difference. I felt lighter, and more at peace.

Maybe it was just the asking for help that did this? I justified in my head.

Then my partner looked at me quizzically and asked how I was feeling.

“Better” I replied

“You look better!” He confirmed.

Still I was not totally convinced.

The thing that really opened my eyes to the power of this healing session was that suddenly both my cats returned to my room and were laying on my bed for the first time in weeks, together. (They hate each other normally)

I had noticed that they were avoiding me, confirming in my despair that I was not fit for even animal company these days. The suddenness of their return has no other explanation. Something shifted, and it was in that session. Nothing else in my physical world had changed.

In the days that followed I can only explain the feeling as: it was as if a shadow had lifted. I could now see more clearly outside of the cage of my own mind.

I am not religious, and I will continue to not partake in any organized religion. I am not opposed to it, but its not for me. I believe that Spirit, the Universe, Gaia or God, or whatever word you use to describe it, is all the same source: it is simply something greater than ourselves.

A power exists that we can rely on for help. Maybe it doesn’t happen in the way that we expect, but I do believe if we have faith, we can live an easier life than our brain constructs on its own.

I can tell you confidently that moving forward, I have started to pray. Even if I take nothing else from this, I know now that when I put the things that are out of control, into hands that are not my own, I am a happier person.

Maybe this IS the foundation of faith; the process of letting go of that which we cannot control.

A trust fall.

I now willingly give up that which I cannot control: and I will pray with gratitude for being able to do so.

Chantal Michelle is a practitioner with the Twisted Oak Holistic Collective and free consultations can be booked via the Virtual Health Centre.